Hot Buttons: Dating Editing, and Hot Buttons: Internet Edition release on 6/1
You remember what it was like to want to go tot he big concerts with all your friends, don’t you? I sure do! In fact, one of my first acts of major rebellion was to sneak out of my house to go see Amy Grant and Michael W. Smith. I know…I was craaa-aaa-zy!
Maybe you’d allow a MWS, Skillet, or Third Day concert, but would say no to some others. That’s great. Use your discernment to decide what’s right for your tweens and teens, and then stick to it.
But…
I hope you’re having regular conversations with your teens about how to handle the pressure to say one thing and do another. It’s easy to fall into the trap of lying to Mom and Dad and then doing whatever peer pressure and temptation dictates. It often takes advanced preparation to enable your kids to say no in those circumstances.
To help with that preparation, let’s take a look at a Hot Button scenario you can use in your home. I hope you’ll use this to steer some great conversations with your kids.
Now, in true HOT BUTTONS fashion, tell your teen this story as though it’s really happening to him/her:
Your friends are all going to this super cool concert. You’re desperate to join them, especially when you find out that all the cool kids are going. You know beyond a shadow of a doubt that your mom and dad will say no. NO WAY, in fact. What do you do? (This scenario would work equally well with a movie and a theater.)
Present the following choices to your teenager:
- You don’t even bother asking for permission. You’ll just stay home.
- You ask anyway. Miracles have happened.
- You ask for permission to go to a concert that night, but you tell your parents is for a band they’d approve of.
- You lie and tell your parents you’re staying at a friend’s house–making no mention of a concert at all.
Now let your teen make a choice between the responses without feeling judged or directed. You want the response to be as honest as possible.
Here are some discussion points you can use to lead the conversation after the choice is made:
- Staying home or making other plans isn’t the worst thing that could happen.
- How’s the attitude if you do have to miss the concert?
- What if you lied about your whereabouts and then someone got hurt?
- When in doubt, just say no.
- Discuss music and movie choices, and why they’re important.
- Always be ready to talk about why you and your family have boundaries like that in place.
- Use this as an opportunity to share your faith in God with your friends. Tell them why honesty is important to you.
Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. “Honor your father and mother” (this is the first commandment with a promise), “that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.” (Ephesians 6:1-2)
